Today I am still thinking about the post I wrote on July 17. There I am lamenting the fact that I can’t go play the slots at the Horseshoe Casino anymore because of recently developed “energy incompatibilty”. (Hmm, I may have coined that term myself, and I kind of like it.)

Today I came across an old journal entry that totally reminds me why not going to Shreveport anymore feels like a loss. This was written the trip before it all went bad. Here it is:


I am feeling a bit let down today because I had such a good time over the past three days and now I am just back to the mundane world of laundry and grocery shopping.

The good time thing was the annual 3-day trip to Louisiana that Rudy and I think is so much fun. Maybe it is such fun because the whole idea of gambling is so foreign to everything else about our lives. We are older folks, a bit conservative (him more than me!), morally good people who really try to be kind and giving and responsible, et. etc. But once a year we drive away from home into a place where we actually become just a tiny bit irresponsible. By this I mean we stay at a nice hotel and spend three days shoveling money into slot machines and having the best time! We certainly don’t take any potentially devastating risks, but we do love that moment when this spin might be the BIG ONE. And I have noticed that every year the amount that we believe we can safely lose gets a little bigger, and then a little bigger. Have we ever really lost big-time? No. We almost always come home with more dollars than we left with. It’s the chance that we’ll lose that’s almost as exciting as the chance that we’ll win. It’s weird and exhausting—three days once a year is all we can handle.

Of course, these trips are about more than playing the slots and winning or losing. They’re more about playing together, being together out of our usual environment. In a casino you are part of a big crowd in a place that is so noisy, with the machines ringing constantly, lights flashing, music. And in all the hullaballoo it’s really just the two of us—playing in separate parts of the room but each always aware of the other and hoping good luck is theirs. Coming together to go for food or drink, or maybe a nap in that nice hotel room, talking, telling the stories of wins and losses, laughing, maybe even a little flirting happens Now, isn’t that just something special? You bet! (Pun intended.)

So now I’m asking spirit to help us find a new fun thing to do together, because here’s what I know: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK!

Just think about it.

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