Differences

THWAM got his new glasses on Monday.  He doesn’t say much about them unless I press him.  So far I know that the bifocals are great for reading, and the distance lenses might not be as crystal-clear as he’d like but are good enough.  He says he is not seeing double anymore.

Did you get that? NOT SEEING DOUBLE ANYMORE!  I think that this calls for rejoicing, but he shows little reaction to such good news.  When I ask, he says yes, he is only seeing one lane now; yesterday he was confident enough to fire up the power tools.  I am relieved that life has returned to normal. Normal means that we are still okay, right?

But it has not returned to normal.  Today he gets right back in the passenger seat, leaving me to drive.  He says that he “doesn’t want to scare” me (a touch of sarcasm?), and he likes to be driven around.

My emotional reaction is instant and shocking, and actually puts unshed tears behind my eyes. This small shift in long-time roles feels like something I don’t want to face, a slow downward spiral for us, the beginning of losses.

Perhaps tomorrow things will be normal again, yet never quite the same, for I’ve seen a tiny glimpse of future possibilities.

To him, this will seem like unnecessary drama; to me, it is a little lightening bolt of pure feeling.

Luckily, we hold each other up, always.

Blessings.

 

 

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 31st, 2011 at 3:44 pm and is filed under Things to Think About. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to “Differences”

  1. Anne on September 1st, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Glad to hear about the glasses. I know what you mean about the shift. I still haven’t gotten used to driving at night.

  2. Anne on September 1st, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Glad to hear about the glasses. I know what you mean about the shift. I still haven’t gotten used to driving at night.

  3. martha bailey on September 2nd, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    You guys are so lucky (that’s not the word I really want, but can’t think of another one) to have each other.

  4. martha bailey on September 2nd, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    You guys are so lucky (that’s not the word I really want, but can’t think of another one) to have each other.