dnr, PLEASE!

I am writing this from a very good place. I am 73 years old and in good health. I do not take any prescription drugs or supplements. I have not lost my mobility in either walking or driving, and neither have I lost my mind. I do often suffer the loss of a word, which annoys me terribly, but so far time and patience brings it back. As I often say, everything is still in there, but accessing information has become a slower process. I can live with that. My vision isn’t perfect, but I can still read, watch TV, go to movies, and clearly see the people I love.

I love that I am able to wear quirky clothes with sparkle, to make gentle jokes at my own or your expense, to paint my toenails if I feel like it, and to laugh out loud at whatever or whoever tickles me.

I love that I love the people in my life, from family to friends to relative strangers, straight from my heart with no apologies. I love that I will hug just about anybody without an invitation. My younger self was fearful of expressing love too freely; my present self knows that’s just silly.

I love that I have found a way, at this end of my life, to be of service to others through my ability to channel divine energy in psychic readings and healing. When I work with someone there is a heart-to-heart connection that benefits us both, and that makes me exceedingly happy.

I hope that I remain in this place for a long, long time. The reality is that I may not.

There was a column in today’s paper lamenting the fact that it takes way, way too long to die in America. I agree. We can blame it on the docs and the whole medical infrastructure. They are keeping us alive way too long simply because they can and therefore feel obligated to do so. I won’t even go on about the financial issues that are attached to that.

I do not want to be kept alive a moment beyond my ability to recognize myself as a living being. I do not want to be merely a body in a bed or a chair, maintained by technology while my soul has already fled. Please don’t do that to me.

If I become disabled by a stroke or illness, a bad fall or some other disaster and rehabilitation is long or unlikely, I would ask that I be placed where the caretakers are not my family members. I hope this request is honored because burdening the people I love is my biggest fear. I WANT to go to a care facility. I’d like someone to visit me there.

The fear of dementia looms, of course. Will everybody notice I’ve lost it before I do? If I can’t care for myself, please let the professionals do it. Don’t let family love slide into guilt and resentment. Remember me as I am today.

If ever there is a choice to be made between a swift and peaceful death and a prolonged but insufficient life, please let me go. I know where I am going, and I am not afraid. It will be a gift of supreme love and kindness. After all, you would do it for your beloved dog; do it for me.

Blessings.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, June 17th, 2012 at 2:45 pm and is filed under Things to Think About. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to “dnr, PLEASE!”

  1. I, Rodius on June 17th, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    The brother of a friend died of a stroke this week, after a semi-prolonged attempt to save him, including a medically-induced coma. He was one month older than I. A fellow usher died two days ago after a long fight with cancer. He was a year and a half older than Dad. Odd that you’re thinking about this at the same time that I’m thinking about this, but I hope that we all have many more happy years together before we have to say farewell. Love you!

  2. I, Rodius on June 17th, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    The brother of a friend died of a stroke this week, after a semi-prolonged attempt to save him, including a medically-induced coma. He was one month older than I. A fellow usher died two days ago after a long fight with cancer. He was a year and a half older than Dad. Odd that you’re thinking about this at the same time that I’m thinking about this, but I hope that we all have many more happy years together before we have to say farewell. Love you!

  3. Martha Bailey on June 26th, 2012 at 9:26 am

    It would be nice to never lose my independence, memory, and good health. I feel the same way as you about not being a burden on anyone. Your last paragraph mirrors the way I feel, too.

  4. Martha Bailey on June 26th, 2012 at 9:26 am

    It would be nice to never lose my independence, memory, and good health. I feel the same way as you about not being a burden on anyone. Your last paragraph mirrors the way I feel, too.